It seems the days just get worse and worse..

I haven't had a blog before and someone thought this would help me feel better about everything I am going through. I really hope it does because each day keeps getting worse and worse. Today was the one day I thought I would be able to try and pick myself up, get out of bed and do something other than cry and sleep and mope about all the things that are happening around me. Just as I get that in my head someone hits me with another blow... now all I feel like doing is killing myself. And to make it worse people don't seem to believe that that is my state of mind that I am in right now they just think "I'm being dramatic" or others tell me not to tell them that "because it scares them" will why won't someone help me? It scares me as well. If I am opening up to you about something like that help me don't just sweep it under the rug because then the problem just keeps coming back up no matter how hard we try to cover it up. I honestly don't know why anyone wouldn't believe me if I have attempted it previously. Once I do try doing it they get mad at me as if that is going to make anything better.. you can't be mad at me for wanting to end it that makes no sense! >=/ That's like getting mad at someone for crying.. they can't help it it's what they feel. I wish the most for everything to be alright and to be better all I would love to do is honestly feel happy to be alive but as everything keeps happening one after the other I don't think that idea is possible. Life isn't something worth living for. It's too complicated and has too many problems that come along with it. I don't know maybe I am being to pessimistic. My glass is half empty and I don't want to talk about.